Parenting
School officials freak out over 5th grader riding public bus
A Rockville mother decided to let her 10-year-old daughter ride a public bus to get to her school, confident it would be safe. Other "concerned parents" reported this to the principal, who called the central office, who even called Child Welfare Services.
The mother, Anna, wrote a letter to the Free Range Kids blog that several readers sent in as a tip:
It had been brought to her attention, the principal said, by some "concerned parents," that my daughter had been riding the city bus to and from school.I said, yes, we had just moved outside of the neighborhood, and felt that this was the most convenient way for our 5th grader to get there and back.
The principal asked was I not concerned for her safety? "Safety from what?" I inquired. "Kidnapping," she said reluctantly. ...
We did a lot of planning and preparation before we allowed L. to ride the bus. As a parent I feel that it is my job to advocate for her right to practice this new skill, for as long as she wants to do it and for as long as we her parents continue to feel it is safe.The principal went on to tell the mother that the central office wanted Child Welfare Services to evaluate whether it was an acceptable parenting decision to let a 5th grader ride the bus.
In contrast to the anxious overreaction from school officials, Anna writes, her daughter told her mother she didn't need to wait in the car at the bus stop for the bus to arrive, because she wanted to talk to her "people friends":
There was the Chinese lady, the lady with the baby who cried a lot (but it's not his fault, he can't help it), and the grandma who always got on at the next stop. In a few short weeks, my daughter had surrounded herself with a community of people who recognized her, who were happy to see her, and who surely would step in if someone tried to hurt her.One commenter noted that many places have kids ride the buses even younger. One said that when he or she grew up in Queens, all children rode the bus starting in 2nd grade. Another noted that Hamburg, Germany teaches kids to ride public transportation in 4th grade so they can use it alone after that.
Our suburban areas, including Montgomery County, have spent far too long building an environment that is not especially hospitable to kids walking to school. That forces almost all parents to drive their kids to school when the school bus is not an option, making school officials start to believe those are the only ways and flip out when anyone bucks the trend.
Correction: The last paragraph originally left out riding the school bus as one of the more common ways kids get to school. It now includes this as well as being driven by parents.
Comments
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by drumz on Nov 19, 2012 9:58 am • link • report
by Ken Firestone on Nov 19, 2012 10:09 am • link • report
by jinushaun on Nov 19, 2012 10:11 am • link • report
by Thayer-D on Nov 19, 2012 10:17 am • link • report
by Peter Hadley on Nov 19, 2012 10:17 am • link • report
by John Muller on Nov 19, 2012 10:19 am • link • report
1. MCPS says that they bus 100,000 children.(I don't know if that means that MCPS gives 100,000 children the option of taking the school bus, or if it means that 100,000 children actually do take the school bus.) MCPS total enrollment is about 146,500.
2. As I recall, the reason the parent was responsible for providing transportation (which the parent did do, by buying a bus pass) is because the family had moved out of the school's boundaries. Otherwise either MCPS would have considered the child a walker, or MCPS would have been responsible for transportation, via school bus.
Also, really, I think that what worried the other parents was not that the child was taking the public bus, but rather, more generally, that the child was out in the world on her own. They would probably also have wanted to call CPS if the child had walked to school by herself, or biked by herself.
by Miriam on Nov 19, 2012 10:24 am • link • report
by Ron on Nov 19, 2012 10:26 am • link • report
by Redline SOS on Nov 19, 2012 10:27 am • link • report
by Urbanette on Nov 19, 2012 10:35 am • link • report
by Flora on Nov 19, 2012 10:40 am • link • report
by Tom Veil on Nov 19, 2012 10:45 am • link • report
by Mark on Nov 19, 2012 10:46 am • link • report
I live on the corner of Connecticut and Nebraska, so I see the aforementioned kids heading to Deal on the bus all the time. Kids that live north of me, coming from up closer to Chevy Chase Circle, ride south on either the L1 or L2, get off at Nebraska, and then switch to the Deal bus. I see this every day.
My daughter is currently in kindergarten, but when she's 11 and going to Deal, I would fully expect her to be walking over there or to be hopping onto the bus (like someone else noted, there's not a world of difference between a 10 and 11 year old, and perhaps my daughter might walk herself to school the three-tenths of a mile when she's 10).
by Sandy on Nov 19, 2012 10:46 am • link • report
I'm with you, a bit tongue-in-cheek. My junior high school bus was packed, we sat three to a seat, and there were all sorts of arguments, name calling, etc... The Fairfax Connector bus I ride is great. Mostly people just talk about work, complain about traffic, read a paper (the older pax do this with an acutal paper; the younger pax use an iPad/iPhone, etc...-- funny to see) or tap away at their e-mail.
by Transport. on Nov 19, 2012 10:49 am • link • report
by Dan Gamber on Nov 19, 2012 10:53 am • link • report
Just how many pervert kidnappers do folks imagine are out there, and how much safer do they think keeping a kid off the bus will make him or her compared to the cruelty youngsters inflict on one another?
by Lucre on Nov 19, 2012 10:57 am • link • report
Wait, but isn't that the point? Seems to me the comparison to when we were kids is very apt. By every objective measure things were more dangerous in the 70s and 80s, and yet for some reason we've got kids on lock-down these days.
by oboe on Nov 19, 2012 10:58 am • link • report
by Rebecca on Nov 19, 2012 11:08 am • link • report
by aaa on Nov 19, 2012 11:10 am • link • report
Yes, oboe, here is how my conversations about this almost always go.
Suburban me: You know, I do think it's sad that children these days don't get to be out on their own the way we used to.
Suburban parent: Oh, but it's so much more dangerous these days!
by Miriam on Nov 19, 2012 11:18 am • link • report
I think the kid is pretty safe on the bus.
by MM on Nov 19, 2012 11:29 am • link • report
I can see the Fox News headline now: Government "Parenting Panel" Forces Parents to Defend Parenting Decisions at "Secret Courts"
by Falls Church on Nov 19, 2012 11:39 am • link • report
I mean, who would let a kid take the subway, when Charles Bronson spends 2 hours on there each day shooting thugs?
GM's advertizing doesn't help matters:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rllayman/9006896/
by Matt Johnson on Nov 19, 2012 11:40 am • link • report
I feel the same way about these busybody parents in Rockville. They are not living in reality. Worse, they're stunting the growth of their own children. I started riding Ride On in 6th grade. NOT ONCE did I feel at risk on the bus or at a bus stop. Surely there must be statistics for how many children have been abducted by strangers on or waiting for the Ride On. I'm goign to hazzard a guess that the numebr is statistically insignificant given how many people use the system.
by Birdie on Nov 19, 2012 11:42 am • link • report
Paranoid nosy busy-bodies with nothing better to do, helicopter parents inflicting their own fears on their children and psychologically crippling them for life.
They are the ones who should be hauled up before CPS.
by Jack Love on Nov 19, 2012 11:46 am • link • report
Riding a bus at 10 years old is hardly a reason to freak out. My neighbors son is 10 and he rides the metro to school in the morning and the bus home in the evening. Like Anna's daughter, he likes meeting new "people friends".
I'm not a parent and I can understand the desire to keep your child safe. However, all this helicopter parenting is going to come back to bit them when the kid is an adult and doesn't have basic survival skills.
by Veronica O. Davis (Ms V) on Nov 19, 2012 11:55 am • link • report
For my 12 y.o. who rides the bus, her life is SO much better than mine was in the suburbs - some irony for people who move to the burbs for the kids. She takes Metro to the movies with her friends, meets up after school at Starbucks or Vace, participates in afterschool activities and takes the bus home, doesn't have to worry about a ride. My (single) mom worked full time so I couldn't go anywhere I couldn't walk to, which was just the neighbors' homes.
@Birdie - I told my 12 y.o. she was too old to trick or treat! "Trick or treating is for little kids..." But she ended up going, no adult - it didn't occur to me that an adult should go with her!
by Urbanette on Nov 19, 2012 12:05 pm • link • report
by Falls Church on Nov 19, 2012 12:07 pm • link • report
by Kate Hadley on Nov 19, 2012 12:12 pm • link • report
by Citygirl on Nov 19, 2012 12:12 pm • link • report
by Tina on Nov 19, 2012 12:13 pm • link • report
Oh, and I also rode the bus on my own to an after-school event twice a week starting in 6th grade.
In general, I think what this family is doing is just fine. Kids can ride the bus as long as it's a regular route that they ride every day. I wouldn't want to trust them to read a complicated map with transfers, but for a simple A-to-B ride that they do every day most kids should be able to handle that after they've been properly trained.
by Marc on Nov 19, 2012 12:39 pm • link • report
Make that just about every other country/continent/culture in the world: Asia, Europe, Latin America and Africa.
Aside from my own experience walking and riding as a kid in the 60s and 70s, everywhere I've traveled you see kids in the single digits (5-10 yrs old) riding public transportation themselves.
Could it be a function of a well-developed media culture in the U.S. which buries us in slasher films and gore?
by Alvin on Nov 19, 2012 1:02 pm • link • report
by Jerome on Nov 19, 2012 1:26 pm • link • report
by Tom on Nov 19, 2012 1:55 pm • link • report
As a Montgomery County taxpayer, I am ashamed that my tax dollars are funding such rear-end-covering idiocy.
A normal, well-informed and reasonably observant child (and especially a child with a cell phone) should be able (and in my opinion, even encouraged) to ride mass transit at age 9 or 10, at least during the daytime hours.
If transit is unsafe, then that tells me that there is something wrong with transit, not with the parents.
And I have seen more than a few children behaving very badly on transit - in the District of Columbia. Where? Especially on the B-route (sorry, Red Line, Glenmont side), also on the S2 and S4 lines on 16th Street, N.W.
by C. P. Zilliacus on Nov 19, 2012 2:01 pm • link • report
by Ben Ross on Nov 19, 2012 2:06 pm • link • report
one of these days I'll get around to writing about this in the context of free transit proposals.
2. @MattJohnson... bus rodeos, etc. to introduce/reintroduce suburban families to transit.
3. RideOn ought to incorporate that kid/his parents into transit marketing initiatives.
4. This is for kids a bit older, but still relevant:
¡2006 Arlington County Teen Transit Initiative Study: http://mobilitylab.org/2012/01/23/2006-arlington-county-teen-transit-initiative-study/
by Richard Layman on Nov 19, 2012 2:38 pm • link • report
by Richard Layman on Nov 19, 2012 2:40 pm • link • report
by Jimmy on Nov 19, 2012 5:52 pm • link • report
I rode city buses alone from about age 8 or 9 and in our neighboring town, the Catholic schools used the local public buses in lieu of their own buses. This sort of thing became less normal during the "child abduction paranoia" of the 80s, when child supervision became more of an issue. The irony is that these days with both parents often working full time, kids take the bus home to an empty house or perhaps get supervision from a domestic worker or someone else other than a parent. There is a norm of parental supervision in many other places, though which means play dates, organized athletics, dance lessons, etc. and neighborhoods full of kids with recreational facilities nearby that are empty and no one playing in their yards.
It's not just an economic thing. When I go back to Cleveland, I can go through suburbs as well off or more as any in MoCo and actually see kids outside being kids. They might even be playing ball in the street, or something else that engender paranoia here.
The parent who got child welfare sicced on them should turn around and sue the parent and school people responsible. They're unlikely to get much financial compensation or their reputation in tact, but they can make a point that won't be forgotten.
by Rich on Nov 19, 2012 6:13 pm • link • report
by Steven on Nov 19, 2012 11:39 pm • link • report
There is this perception that the world is a more dangerous place now than 20 or 30 years ago. As someone who grew up during the crack era, literally dodging bullets, I respectfully disagree.
At 9 years-old and younger, I took the bus in Philadelphia to and from school without incident because my mother taught how, as do many parents today.
by Randall M. on Nov 20, 2012 7:10 am • link • report
by Me on Nov 20, 2012 7:57 am • link • report
From 1st and 2nd it was on the back of my Dad's Honda Goldwing Motorcycle, or occasionally our neighbor's 70's Cadillac with no seatbelts in the back. Definitely way less safe than the bus.
From 6th grade on I just rode my bike, which was fantastic.
A car would NOT be safer. It's not logical.
by Lee on Nov 20, 2012 8:39 am • link • report
This kid sounds mature enough to ride the bus a couple of blocks. However the paranoid parents who ran to the principal and CPS do not show the same level of maturity. If you have an issue with a parent, please reach out to them and get their side of the story before potentially ruining lives and reputations. Also do not project your kids onto others.
For those who want to get past the fear and paranoia I highly recommend Gavin De Becker's books and most of his advice is spot on. The link below is appropriate for the topic:
http://gavindebecker.com/resources/child_safety/walking_to_school_alone/
by mommyworks on Nov 20, 2012 8:59 am • link • report
I agree with some of the commentators that the parent in this should raise a serious complaint, because the idea that school and child services officials even have an appropriate place to spend their time discussing this needs to be squashed. It's none of their business, and they -- as well as the 'reporting' parents -- need to be told as much.
by Doug Wendt on Nov 20, 2012 12:46 pm • link • report
by Jess on Nov 20, 2012 1:36 pm • link • report
Amazing how the fear of the unknown in these parents and principal should cause such a horribly handled response.
by Adam on Nov 20, 2012 2:55 pm • link • report
I think every area is different, and what may be safe and appropriate in one are of Metro may not be in others.
However, encouraging an unaccompanied ten year old to talk to strangers is a BAD idea wherever it's tried.
by Curmudgeon10 on Nov 21, 2012 6:03 am • link • report
This 10 year old is interacting with her community. It fosters independence. Why are other parents so worried? Are they afraid their children would want to do the same thing?
I do agree that kidnappings are usually committed by family members or people known to the family. This disparate community would actually pay attention if something went wrong.
Shame on the principal and the parents reporting this to CPA. They should be reported to CPA for preventing the mother from doing her job - raising an independent, successful child.
by cem on Nov 21, 2012 7:08 am • link • report
During all those years, there was one time where I felt truly unsafe. I was probably 10 or 11 at the time, and I felt that someone was watching me from behind. It was not an overt thing that other adults would be able to see and stop. I was immediately on alert and started thinking about what I would do as my stop approached. When I got off the bus I sensed that the person was following me. Instead of walking the usual way home down residential streets, I meandered down Wisconsin slightly out of my way, and periodically swung my bag around pretending to do a ballet move so that I could see if the person was still there. Eventually he was gone, and I walked home and called my mom.
When she got home from work she asked me what happened and said I did the right thing. She didn't freak out and continued letting me ride the bus. The amount of trust I gained and sense of competence I felt that I was truly capable of handling myself in the world led me to be able to travel the world independently later in life.
So I would say the second best thing riding the bus gave me was the street smarts that put me on the alert that day and that have helped me in countless situations since then.
by Margaret on Nov 21, 2012 8:54 am • link • report
I rode the public bus every day to Middle and High School in Newton MA, and I was hardly the only one. MBTA offered a special student rate ($0.30 per ride) and at least 10 of my classmates were on the same bus as I was every day.
I can't imagine so much has changed in 20 years...
by Andrew on Nov 21, 2012 9:35 am • link • report
My brother and I walked to Manhattan over the Triboro Bridge, and on other days my mom would pack us lunches and we'd ride the subways from 9-5, the city as our playground - I might have been 12 and my brother 9.
by jeff parnes on Nov 21, 2012 10:07 am • link • report
by Shru on Nov 21, 2012 12:19 pm • link • report
by MB on Nov 21, 2012 1:41 pm • link • report
Parental attitudes today overemphasize fear instead of practical caution and often hinder their children's growth into self-confident adults.
by Rita O'Connor on Nov 21, 2012 3:54 pm • link • report
This happened at Garrett Park Elementary School -- hardly a dangerous neighborhood. And the school department was at best lukewarm about the matter -- "The school system does not have a policy regarding the use of public transportation, and some students do take public transportation to school," rather than saying that children are allowed to take public transportation.
by Ben Ross on Nov 22, 2012 9:39 am • link • report
by Ward 1 Guy on Nov 22, 2012 10:59 am • link • report
I rode my bicycle to school starting in 2nd grade. When I was transferred to another school outside of my district for 7th grade, I had to ride a bike or walk a bit over 2 miles to get on the school-bus that got me the rest of the way to school. I did this for 3 years, unless the snow was too deep to find a sidewalk. I'd have taken public buses if any had had routes out that way back in those days (early 1970s).
Sure, I'm very weird but don't blame walking/biking to school for that. I had my bikes stolen a time or two but that's what you get when you forget to lock them. I didn't have any problems from adults or other kids back then, aside from the expected occasional bullying or teen spats.
Kids in MoCo seem to be meant to spend their entire lives in institutions. They start in the institution of day-care/pre-school, move to the institution of elementary school, and as time progresses, so do the institutions; first middle school, then highschool, then the institution of college, and of post-graduate or corporate work. Much of modern life seems to consist of being in an institution and most major life choices seem to be struggles to move from one institution to the next. For example, the struggle to pick out which institution will confer the college degree, which institution of major corporate status will be the employer, etc.
Institutions have policies, and deviate enough from the policies and you could wind up in the wrong institution, such as juvenile or even adult criminal institutions. And as we know, some institutions just won't admit applicants who are currently in the wrong institution.
Be all of that as it may, institutions also don't like deviation from their programs, whether or not any actual policies are violated.
Allowing a 10-year-old to ride a public bus -- according to the institutionalist mindset -- smacks of self-directed learning or unplanned experience, all of which could lead to deviation from the institution's planned set of experiences. A 10-year-old riding the bus might not fail to learn all of the lessons carefully (and in a structured way!) provided by the institution, but they might learn something that the institution is not in existence to teach: self-confidence, self-reliance, and the other basic tools of Freedom.
Happy Thanksgiving, folks.
by Thomas Hardman on Nov 22, 2012 12:24 pm • link • report
by Mom on Nov 22, 2012 5:40 pm • link • report
The only way it could get weirder is if it developed that the 10-year-old was riding the bus to get away from an institutionally-empowered abuser (can we all mutter Nittany Lions) and CPS knowingly forced the kid off of the bus back into the hands of some monster like Sandusky.
Time to step back and get a sanity check for all concerned... except for the people brave enough to report on the madness and call it what it is.
by Thomas Hardman on Nov 22, 2012 11:46 pm • link • report
It was pretty simple. Get on, get off. read until I hit downtown and walk to their office by 4:30.
frankly if more kids would and especially high school kids ride the bus, they'd learn some serious street smarts and would learn more about the world
by pat b on Nov 23, 2012 1:17 am • link • report
by LC on Nov 23, 2012 10:12 am • link • report
by H.O. on Nov 28, 2012 2:51 pm • link • report
by Mom33 on Nov 28, 2012 11:15 pm • link • report
by D Q on Dec 4, 2012 7:32 pm • link • report
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