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Thanks for the foolishness yesterday

We hope you enjoyed yesterday's April Fool joke posts on Greater Greater Washington and Greater Greater Education. Our April 1 edition was a true team effort, with significant writing, editing, and image creating by Andrew Bossi, Jessica Christy, Tim Krepp, Dan Reed, Miriam Schoenbaum, Jim Titus, and Steven Yates.

Photo by flowercat on Flickr.

Many, many more contributors and volunteers also assisted with ideas to flesh out the articles, concepts for breakfast links, or even helpful submissions we weren't able end up using. Thanks go to Agnès Artemel, Matt Caywood, Shree Chauhan, Neil Flanagan, Steve Glazerman, April January, Matt Johnson, Tracey Johnstone, Sarah Lewis, Dan Malouff, Michael Perkins, Alex Posorske, Ben Ross, Matthew Rumsey, Mitch Wander, Abigail Zenner, and anyone else I've forgotten.

A lot of other local writers had some excellent April Fool articles. John Kelly wrote a fantastic fake history article about a subway in the mid-1800s, called the "Mole Way," which had "stops near the Capitol, the White House, each of the city's markets and an adults-only nude beach near the Tidal Basin" as well as Georgetown and Tysons Corner.

Instead of escalators, people used rotating spiral "spinners" to get down to the stations. But trains entering the station blew off people's hats, which made people stop riding and the system was ultimately abandoned.

Rendering by Capital Pixel via UrbanTurf.

UrbanTurf broke the news of Donald Trump's planned design for the Old Post Office. New Columbia Heights reported that DC USA would place a curling rink in the underutilized parking garage. (Hey, maybe not a bad idea!)

Kaid Benfield announced that sprawl will no longer happen, Southwest TLQTC posted plans to redevelop Greenleaf Gardens, a public housing complex, and Alan Suderman discovered Marion Barry is running for mayor.

Finally, DC's elections board sent out a postcard telling residents they can only vote on April 23 at One Judiciary Square, nowhere else. Oh, wait, that last one wasn't a joke; it was just a really poorly-written note that conflated early voting and regular voting and will confuse residents.

What other local and regional April Fool posts did you especially like?

David Alpert is the founder of Greater Greater Washington and its board president. He worked as a Product Manager for Google for six years and has lived in the Boston, San Francisco, and New York metro areas in addition to Washington, DC. He now lives with his wife and two children in Dupont Circle. 


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your april fools posts made me want to stab my eyes out and never come back here.

by reader on Apr 2, 2013 5:28 pm • linkreport

I didn't enjoy the posts here or anywhere else. It shows the stupidity of American culture when what was once child's play now becomes a yearly obsession. Yes, I do have a sense of humor - but it was stretched to the limits yesterday...

by Bill Hobbs on Apr 2, 2013 6:25 pm • linkreport

Bike Commuters Invited to Grand Tour Race (via WashCycle)

Proteus Racing Accepts Giro Invite — Team Presentation April 4

From a Press Release

COLLEGE PARK, MARYLAND. Proteus Racing today accepted an invitation from the Union Cycliste Internationale (UCI) to compete in the 2013 Giro D’Italia, and set the team presentation for 7pm (EDT) on Thursday, April 4 at the team’s headquarters in College Park, Maryland. Officials at the UCI, the governing body for Pro Tour racing, confirmed that U.S. based Proteus will be the fifth “wild card” selection for the three-week stage race, bringing the full roster for the 96th Giro D’Italia to a record 24 teams.

The decision was triggered by a ruling from the Court of Arbitration for Sport (CAS) in February, which reinstated the Pro Tour status of Russian Team Katusha, bringing the UCI’s Pro Tour roster to 19 teams, up from the 18 teams customarily certified. Katusha had been dropped from Pro Tour status for “ethical reasons” by UCI’s Independent License Commission in late 2012. None of the four wild card teams previously invited to the 2013 Giro — Androni Giocattoli-Venezuela, Columbia, Vini Fantini-Selle Italia, and Bardiani Valvole-CSF Inox — were demoted when Team Katusha regained Pro-Tour credentials. According the UCI officials, the fifth wild card entry was granted to Proteus Racing in accordance with updated race rules from 1966, which specify that the Giro must have an even number of teams.

Proteus Racing: The Climb to Giro D'Italia from Greenbelt Bike Videos on Vimeo.

“We are delighted to accept the invitation,” said Laurie Lemieux, owner of Proteus Bicycles. “Having an amateur team with everyday commuting bikes and gear will be a breath of fresh air for Grand Tour racing.”

The 2013 Giro starts on May 4th in Naples and ends on May 26th in Brescia, Lombardy. This year’s parcours features 7 flat stages, 5 medium-mountain stages, 5 high-mountain stages in the Alps and Dolomites, a team time trial and an individual time trial. The 2012 winner of the Pink Jersey for general classification (Maglia Rosa) was Canadian Ryder Hesjedal (Team Garmin).

by Greenbelt on Apr 2, 2013 8:39 pm • linkreport

Running April fools jokes is a waste of my time, and makes your site unusable for me. You're not the onion.

by David on Apr 2, 2013 9:17 pm • linkreport

I too hate April Fool's Day. Other things I hate: children's laughter (it's so high pitched); a woman's come-hither look (what am I, a mind reader?); last second, game winning jump shots (who needs the stress?); sunrises (happens every day, get over it people!); drinking hot cocoa while watching snow fall (calories!) and, of course, veterans (here comes the old chestnut about how you "gave your leg for your country" again)

by David C on Apr 2, 2013 11:03 pm • linkreport

The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation ran a story claiming that Conrad Black would be appointed to the Senate now that he has been released from a Florida Prison.

by Jim Titus on Apr 2, 2013 11:32 pm • linkreport

@Bill Hobbs It shows the stupidity of American culture when what was once child's play now becomes a yearly obsession. Yes, I do have a sense of humor

April Fools Day precedes the founding of our nation, and is celebrated throughout the Commonwealth and most of Europe, as well as Iran. The rest of Europe and some other Asian nations have the same type of holiday, but on a different day.

by Jim Titus on Apr 2, 2013 11:45 pm • linkreport

I look forward to the April 1 posts every year -- thanks guys!

by JL on Apr 3, 2013 12:32 am • linkreport

For reader, bill hobbs, david:

Spaghetti Harvest (BBC, 1957)

April Fool's Day - not just for kids. Or Americans.

by Frank IBC on Apr 3, 2013 12:39 am • linkreport

I read this blog regularly and I really appreciate being regularly updated on such a wide variety of issues that I believe are very important for my city. The April 1 posts made me feel smart because I got the joke -- because knowing the issues and the background was required to get the jokes. In a way the joke posts were opinion pieces... clearly the author who suggested the racetrack in South capital hill thinks the giant traffic circle is not the best solution!
I think humor is an important dimension of analysis. If you are not occasionally employing a humorous analysis you aren't using your brain to its fullest extent.

by Melanie on Apr 3, 2013 7:51 am • linkreport

David C, I think I love you. If I wasn't already gay married.....

by Hillman on Apr 3, 2013 8:15 am • linkreport

[This comment has been deleted for violating the comment policy.]

by Hillman on Apr 3, 2013 8:17 am • linkreport

[This comment has been deleted for violating the comment policy.]

by Hillman on Apr 3, 2013 8:42 am • linkreport

Another vote to skip the tiresome and unfunny April Fools posts next time (and not just here).

by c5karl on Apr 3, 2013 8:52 am • linkreport

Maybe some people just need to alter their behavior (avoid the internet) one day a year.

The April Fool's posts are hilarious. And it's not hard to not read them if you don't want to.

by MLD on Apr 3, 2013 8:59 am • linkreport

Hillman has 2 comments deleted and I can't tell if the email address he provided is a real or a false one. I'd like to remind everyone in general that we require using a real email address (which we keep private), and if any comments are deleted we send an email to the author explaining why. Anyone who isn't using a real email address naturally won't receive that email. Thanks.

by David Alpert on Apr 3, 2013 9:04 am • linkreport

I knew the some among the GGW was pretty humorless, but I didn't imagine they were completely devoid of it :) I thought they were quite well done myself.

by Alan B. on Apr 3, 2013 9:28 am • linkreport


It's a real email address.

by Hillman on Apr 3, 2013 9:36 am • linkreport

i thought it was childish but to each its own i just stayed off GGW website on 4-1 and didnt take a lot of things serious i saw on the web on the 1st

by Jerome on Apr 3, 2013 9:52 am • linkreport

The John Kelly article on "The Mole Way" has an 'rhef' where an 'href' should be.

"a fantastic fake history article"

by Ted K. on Apr 4, 2013 4:46 am • linkreport

Ted K: Thanks, fixed.

by David Alpert on Apr 4, 2013 7:17 am • linkreport

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